Gnome Entitlement

I HATE these goblins!

They're all dead now though

We brought the gigantic case back to Fie (which I carried ALL by myself) and after she locked herself away for like an hour, then there was a flash of light and I saw Raena and Andy (or Ollie I can’t tell, all rats look the same to me) flip their shit. Then some giant guy with a backpack walks out. He is like 10 feet tall and then starts talking to everyone WITHOUT MOVING HIS LIPS! I wanted to know everything about him and wouldn’t answer any of MY questions! Fie said he was gonna join the troupe so that’s cool I guess…. I don’t feel comfortable with him in my mind or however he’s talking to us. Everyone said they went to bed but Andy and Ollie did something that cause a whole ton of problems cause there were guards looking for them. We didn’t tell anyone where they were because they disappeared and I thought we left them when we left in the morning.

The next day I got to meet an awesome rabbit actor named Thumper and she started to teach me how to act in some plays with her and the rest of the troupe. I am gonna use the skills I learn to blend into human society better.

After I was learning from her we decided to settle for the night and we got attacked by these little plant dolls that smelled like garbage. They started to attack the caravan and after me and Kirie killed like 20 of these things each (I swear I had like 15 headshots) Andy and Ollie decide to show up and run around like rats with their tails cut off, Raena spent like an hour trying to kill just one of those garbage dolls and finally poked it with a dagger or something weak like that.

Of course while me and Kirie are doing the brunt of the fighting coughandyollieraena did nothing to stop another group of goblins from stealing EVERYTHING including Fie’s lute!

Fie made us all go together find the dirty goblins that took everything. I tracked the goblins to a small cave where there was a guy riding a tiny gecko that andy/ollie wanted. I didn’t want it so I was like you can take it. Then all of a sudden the rats climb up above the goblin and push a huge rock on top of him and squished the shit out of him and his gecko, the gecko was still alive and then andy/ollie slit it’s throat. He was sad though I don’t think you can be so sad after cold blooded murder of the pet you wanted, and I couldn’t help but laugh when we found a health potion right after that.

In the cave we went down and I went near a hole and some goblin WHORE stabbed me. I screamed I thought I was gonna die. FUCK THAT GOBLIN! NO ONE helped me except raena (she’s awesome) she gave me a potion and I felt better as I licked my wounds they started closing it was crazy.

We heard some crazy chanting and went through the big entrance cause we were all too big to go through tiny goblin holes. We came to this big area and there were these fat crazy ugly smelly goblins sitting in chairs. The fattest and biggest one (which was only like 4 feet tall) clapped and some giant flying mutant monster. Raena was like FUUUUUCK THAT and tried to attack the fat goblins on the throne and got stabbed a bunch.
I shot the flying goblin a bunch and then it started flying, and THEN I saw that there were a bunch of braziers hanging above the stupid thing so I closed my eyes and then did what I do in the troupe and shot an arrow at the brazier and then EXPLODED the entire cave! There was fire and explosions chains flying EVERYWHERE then I killed all of the tiny goblins, and SEVERELY hurt the flying goblin and the fat ass king goblin. It then fell out of the sky and then andy/ollie did some cool move or whatever and sliced him up…..AFTER I did most of the work….I guess

The king goblin then decides to come down and try to fight but I put a fucking arrow through his brain and he went down like garbage that they are. I was mad at getting hurt earlier.

After I murdered everything (naturally) we find the items that the goblins stole. Andy/Ollie picks up Fie’s lute and TRIES TO PLAY IT. He broke one of the strings and then his brother snatches it up and yells at him for being a dummy. He gives me the lute but the one that played the lute said he wasn’t gonna admit to breaking it so I give it back so he can be the one to explain what happened. THEN HE PLAYS IT AGAIN! AND BROKE ANOTHER STRING!!! UGH I hate him so much!
Fie is gonna kill him so much, that’ll be fun to watch his brother become an only child.

Eventually we leave and then Bodam the mongoloid human with GIGANTIC ears is flying and sees us, he takes us back and now that rat has to explain what happened to Fie’s lute. I’m excited but scared she’s gonna blame all of us for something that dummy broke on his own accord.

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