Gnome Entitlement

I HATE Writing In This Dumb Book

But OLLIE Thinks I Should...

Dear Diary,
I hope you had a good day. Well good for you, because I didn’t.

Ollie says I should write stuff in you, so that’s what I’m doing. Even though it’s stupid. Who is going to read this? I’m not. I wrote it. Dumb dumb dumb. I’m watching him write stuff right now. He’s probably talking about smart things, like numbers and clouds and outer space. Not me. I’m just going to write about what happened today I guess, in case I forget or something.

So me and Ollie had this cool plan where I was going to do my little cup game, you know, spinning them around and taking stupid peoples money, while Ollie is supposed to sneak around and take even more money from even stupider people. Well diary, guess who’s the stupider? It’s Ollie. I’m doing my cups just perfect, making like a hundred gold, and all of a sudden Chunky-Paw’s McFancytalker tries to grab this HUGE bag of gold from this merchant lady, and she’s like YEAH RIGHT and she turns around and see’s him, then outta no where, this skinny little white chick poofs up behind Ollie and sends his furry ass FLYING across the market, like 100 feet. So once again, it’s my job to save the day. Typical. So I throw my table and knock out like 20 people, I run through the crowd like greased fuckin’ lightening, knocking people over, doing backflips and stuff, and I make it to Ollie, and he’s all stupified and just standing there so I grab him and we run off into the sewers. So he starts complaining about the smells and how the poop water is ruining his fancy pants and stuff, and I’m like yeah but its your fault! So anyways we run around in the sewer for like 2 seconds and get away from the merchant and guards and stuff. So we get outta the sewers over by the docks, and then Ollie’s like “Oh you lost our cups it’s all your fault we’re going to be poor again” so I am like yeah right!

So we go to this bar, and I’m like, watch this, and I grab like 20 cups and I throw this huge one at the bartender and he’s like “Just take what you want and leave please!” so of course I take all the cups and like some gold and stuff too. No one even tried to stop us because they just know how tough and fast we are. Then, we saw that crazy bitch that smacked Ollie! And I’m like 1 inch away from cutting her head off with 1 swoop, and Ollie’s like wait lets talk. So they talk about I don’t know what, and all of a sudden we’re in some traveling carnival? I mean I GUESS it’s better than a sewer but like BARELY. Okay diary I have to go poop now so goodbye.

ps- don’t listen to Ollie because this is what really happened. He’s probably making himself look like the hero but you know the truth. I love you diary.



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